Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
