is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
