p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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