Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
