im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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