My room smells like vodka and shame
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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