Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
