I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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