considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
