I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
jump out the window naked night went bad
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