3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
