I smell stomach acid.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
