No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The uberlube is also flammable
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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