She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
And then he peed in my hair
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