drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
