Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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