It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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