I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize