why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
