I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
