If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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