Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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