big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
