Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
