I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Only a mothe r could love this liver
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
