dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
