So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
whose parrot is this?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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