Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
