i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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