what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize