I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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