Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
