He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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