I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
