Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
