The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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