i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i would punch a child for taco bell
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
