I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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