It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
