i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
