and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize