We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
