YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
