Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
