I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
ttyl tear gas
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
