it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
