dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
