real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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