I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
