We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
