dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
