you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
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