yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
