Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
