like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
