I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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