We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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