how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
