How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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