went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
